Fear of The Lord
This week is INTENSE. It is like the accumulation of the different weeks all in one. This time, we learnt that Fear of the Lord is 1) standing in awe and reverence and 2) Hating Sin. At DTS, it is almost every day that I find myself in tears. I love how it is that we just let God mould us and refine us. There are SO MANY areas that I need to be refined in.
Fear of MAN vs Fear of GOD.
I was learning so much about it today and then my own application came. I was making an ice cream cake for one of my girl’s birthday and wow it was SO HARD. 1) I wanted to buy the cream but it is not sold in regular shopping malls. 2) I drove down to the only store I looked up online and at that time there was rain and traffic jam so the store CLOSED. 3) I settled for regular whipping cream, in hope that I can try it out. We did not have an electric whip so we had to do it MANUALLY and it turned out to be crappy. 4) I went back to buy the cream from the store far away and YAY! I was so so pleased!! BUT, the electric machine that my leader was talking about did not work. 5) I spent an hour + trying to get the cream to firm up… and ended up using my hand to whisk it. 6) I was so overwhelmed by the result of the cream because it is not as good as the one I made back at B&J. 7) The pipped cream did not come out of the pipe nicely because of the texture of the balloon. People came to affirm me that I was doing a good job and that the cake is beautiful. Yet, all I had in my mind was that it is terrible. It could have been better, I did better cakes and this is not good enough. Potes even encouraged me and told me I am always too hard on myself. I don’t deny it. I really want it to be perfect and I want her to have the best experience.
I was upset. The birthday girl really loved the cake, everybody else loved the ice cream cake!!! YAY! Story of this, Ronda was too hard on herself again. I just don’t see the good in me, I feel that it is not good enough, I am not good enough. Such lies that I allow the devil to incept to me.
That night after showering, I had a few revelations. 1) We are like liquid cream and currently God is whipping me into a CREAM to be on a nice cake. As I was hanging my clothes, I heard someone sing worship songs but I have no idea where the sound was from. I looked up and saw the sky full of stars -such a rare sight since Singapore’s sky has light pollution… 2) God was good. He sees the stars and He knows them by name. He sees my heart and knows me by name. I need to affirm myself to accept myself and accept what others think of me.