Train ride with Jesus has begun.
I woke up today, not wanting to leave my bed. It is a very normal act for me to laze in bed but today, I know that if I leave my bed, it would be very long till I meet my bed again. I woke up with a sore throat, the kind with loads of phlegm. I know I fall sick very easily but I also know that this time, I am falling ill because the devil wants me to. Urghhh stupid satan. A very sweet sister in Christ messaged me this morning to check if I would like a ride to the airport, which I was glad to accept. The last minute packing did not come easy. My ex colleagues gave me a farewell gift and I thought it was really useful and wanted to use it for this trip, but the zip broke and so I had to bring a backpack instead.
Well, there will be so many things that can try to hinder right? God is still a faithful God. We reached the airport and I was already feeling the blues. I know that this is it. I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.
Thank you all of you who made the effort to come send me off. Although you know I did not have time to talk to every single one of you, I prayed that God will take care of those I love even when I am away. My tear glands were so active, homai and I know that this entire trip, my tear glands will continue to be active. I shouldn’t waste time to put eyeliner since those tears will wipe them away. God was good. I managed to find my gate very quickly. My flight number was 2 digits and so for my horrible dyslexia, I managed to find the gate without any confusion (: My seat number was 23K. Before reaching my seat, I was calculating and was wondering if I would get the window seat. I remember writing in my journal awhile back that if God wants me to go to Perth, everything will be perthfect, even right up to a window seat. The God who amazes, never failed to amaze me even more. The flight was not a full flight!! I had the whole row to myself and was not afraid to be myself to SOB.
To my dearest family, thank you. Thank you for letting me go and for letting God mould your heart. My dearest papa prayed for me the night before. To many of you, it may be a very normal thing for your father to pray for you. However, my papa backslided and it is only recently that he decided to go to church together. For him to pray and thank God for me, to entrust me in God’s hands and to say God, he trusts that God will provide and take really good care of me was an amazing step on its own. It was my first time praying with my dad and my heart was swollen. Thank you family for loving me even through the years of unforgiveness. I am sorry that I have caused so much pain and misery to your lives but I am thankful that now we are all in peace. I am thankful also that God has been changing my heart to love you even more. Jiejie recognized that I have built a very thick wall against her. I think only recently that I have been putting an effort to break the walls down by sharing part of my life. Thank you for loving me despite it being so difficult and please love my pillow even more while I’m gone.
To TTJJ, your card made me cry A LOT. You always looked out for me even to play and even though I was a very difficult child and would hide behind mummy, you would always try. Thank you for coming back into my life and for sharing your life with me. It was an honour to be your Maid of honour and to be your sister. Please do not be an angsty pregnant lady. I miss you already and I am really very upset that I won’t be there for muffin’s birth day. Please send me loads of photos and tell muffin that yiyi loves him A LOT but yiyi is responding to a higher calling. This time, I won’t be there to take photo with you and play pepsi-cola at the same time ): ❤
Next tear trigger, PCJ! Thank you for being my best friend, for journeying with me from secondary school till now. Life is not easy but I am glad I can hold on to our friendship and trust that this little long distance relationship won’t bring us down. Thank you for knowing my thoughts and for always being there for me. You knew I loved that little mermaid pouch and you knew I cried over it, yet you bought it stealthily. Thank you so much and I can’t wait to be home to be part of your next milestone.
Hi Potes, please remember that you are strong and you are loved.
I actually have more people to thank but I will take it offline. My heart is full. It is so full because I know that I have a community that I can count on, a community to love me despite my insanity and a community who is always there to cover me in prayer. This is another spiritual milestone that I am conquering and I can only thank God for going before me, journeying with me and for assuring me that His grace is enough. Thank you for using me. For this season, let me empty myself and be filled by you and you alone. This train ride with you will not be an easy journey but I am certain that You are with me and You will never let me go off track.
Thank you Jesus.