Saturday night I was struggling with my own heart, dealing with my own emotions and surrendering all that I felt and had gone through to the Lord. I looked in the mirror and started talking to myself in tears. That night, I was very tired. Yet I remembered what my friend said during cell – “if you feel like you are dying when something is taken away from you, that thing had become an idol in your life”. I recognized that emotion with what she shared the other day. I have been putting an idol in my life, whether I recognize it earlier or not. I tell myself to guard my heart and my emotions but had let those guards down. Then I realized one very crucial thing – it is always difficult to be set apart, to be in the world but not of the world. Those worldly people will always put me down, always tear me up and mess around with my emotions, exactly what satan does: to steal, kill and destroy.
Sunday I was still struggling with those emotions and sat down to journal those thoughts while waiting for my uncle. I think it was a very apt appointment for me to be struggling and surrendering my emotions and then sharing God’s goodness to my uncle. It was like a time for me to “remember my baptism and be thankful”. From sharing and praying with my uncle, I did not feel burdened about what had happened on Saturday, but my spirit was lifted. I remember my purpose and my identity and that was what is keeping me going.
Anyway, my heart was very full that Sunday morning. For the first time, I sat down with my uncle to share lives. For the first time, I had Godly & family counsel with regards to my DTS course. For the first time, my uncle prayed for me. My heart has always been burdened for my family’s salvation and I am very thankful for this opportunity to be connected with my uncle #bloodisthicker
My friend shared that her friend, whom I have met only for half a morning, said it is amazing how A, J and I are so comfortable being ourselves that we are not afraid to show others who we are. I think it is a good thing that we have our confidence and identity found in Christ.
Ft. Nua Sunday with Chewie