Song of the day: Whom Shall I Fear (God of Angel Armies) – Chris Tomlin
Just the previous post, I mentioned that I had to answer questions of my passion and strength… I am glad it is over (:
So initially, I was terrified because I really don’t like to share my feelings with others or rather, I was scared of what others (she) might think or react. I anticipated the negative before I allowed myself to surrender the episode. Funny how today’s devotional is on faith that is as small as a mustard seed. Funny how my prayer warriors were more assured that all things will be fine, that I was. Yet before I went in to ‘battle’, I brought myself to ‘bethel’. I told God that He is in charge and that everything is in His control because He has gone before me. That peace I got really transcended all understanding.
I went in and laughed awkwardly but dived into answering the questions. I ended up sharing my testimony of how I eventually got to where I am now, and how I still struggle every day but how God is my pillar of strength. I even told her that I was afraid, in fact I still am, of the passing judgments people may have of me. Yet, to be called holy is really an honor. I thank God that she is Christian, I thank God that as awkward as I think that episode was, the conversation with her is indeed a divine appointment. Well she encouraged me and said that as long as I am certain that the call is from God, then I should not be bothered about what others have to say, just follow what God says. If they are non-believers, its because they don’t know. If they are believers then they can see what faith really is.
I am thankful that it is over with a positive outcome (for now – woman of negative thoughts). “How are you going forward when you get back” – was the question at YMEFLC. That phrasing, tho… Initially I just felt that maybe God wants me to deal with my family. Yet He knows that if there is no push factor, I won’t bring myself to saying these at work… So God, You wanted to deal with these ‘issues’ that I thought were blocks and You conquered them! Wow! I really am a woman of little faith.