Fever

Burning hearts conference 2016

When I saw the website, I thought to myself that it is just a session of soaking in God and going deeper in prayer. So I thought why not? Sessions with God is always good.. little did I know that it was not only a prayer session but a missions session…

16 June 2016 – Francis Chan

I have always heard so much about this gloriously bald dude who wrote the book ‘crazy love’ (Yes I bought the book!) and I was so excited to hear him speak! The sermon was from Isaiah 6 and I felt I could relate very well with his sermon.

Isaiah 6: 9-13

He said, “Go and tell this people:

“‘Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
    be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’
10 Make the heart of this people calloused;
    make their ears dull
    and close their eyes.[a]
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
    hear with their ears,
    understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed.”

11 Then I said, “For how long, Lord?”

And he answered:

“Until the cities lie ruined
    and without inhabitant,
until the houses are left deserted
    and the fields ruined and ravaged,
12 until the Lord has sent everyone far away
    and the land is utterly forsaken.
13 And though a tenth remains in the land,
    it will again be laid waste.
But as the terebinth and oak
    leave stumps when they are cut down,
    so the holy seed will be the stump in the land.”

 

This got me crying. A friend once questioned ‘what do you think you can do? save them? sorry man there are too many and so little you can do’ That sentence, although it was at wee hours, caught my attention. Yes, there is very little I can do and I have never dealt with people like that. What can I do for them anyway? Pray and then?

Francis continued his sermon explaining the verse above : Missions, going out to the nations… Go… okay go… and you think once you respond to the call to go, there will be revival. What if God gives you an assignment like Isaiah to go to a country but nobody listens to you? Was Isaiah a loser? God already told him in advance that nobody will be listening to him.

John 15: 18-19

18 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. 19 If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Our idea of missions is that we want to start a revival but you know what the last days people will not put up with sound doctrine. Even Paul to Timothy people are going to go to find what they want to hear. He didn’t promise revival and he said there will be failure but no you are not a failure.  If God calls you to go and you get rejected, it’s fine it’s an honor to be rejected and be hated like my saviour.
That night got me sobbing and when the call to say Yes, I stood up and cried even more. I cried because I know God is calling me yet I want to resist. I cried because it was an honor to be serving God and I cried because I was scared of rejections. I remembered that question that friend asked and I kept asking myself, what will it be like to be rejected? What will it be like to be out there sharing the Good News but nobody is accepting it? This is real man to be going out there and serving God and this garment of faith must be worn at all times. The moment I stood up in response to God’s call, I felt Him telling me that He will be by my side. Isn’t that the most comforting thing? You are not alone in this battle and all I have to do is to walk in obedience and display love. I cannot deal with this drama. who am I that God wants to use me? A sinner condemned unclean. E told me her heart felt swollen. I finally understood what that term meant. My heart was so swollen that it broke down in tears. Tears are worship, tears are surrender and it is only when you struggle that you know what you are surrendering.
——-
The past few days, I felt God telling me to sit at His feet and quench my thirst.
“By pressing pause to connect with Jesus we can learn to re-prioritize our tasks — perhaps bowing out of some optional activities as we do — and calm our anxious hearts. Our lives can then properly reflect this truth: Busyness doesn’t equal importance and our most important endeavor each day is to simply slow down and connect with our Creator.”
and
“God is a mountain spring, not a watering trough. A mountain spring is self-replenishing. It constantly overflows and supplies others. But a watering trough needs to be filled with a pump or bucket brigade.

If you want to glorify the worth of a watering trough you work hard to keep it full and useful. But if you want to glorify the worth of a spring you do it by getting down on your hands and knees and drinking to your heart’s satisfaction, until you have the refreshment and strength to go back down in the valley and tell people what you’ve found.

My hope as a desperate sinner hangs on this biblical truth: that God is the kind of God who will be pleased with the one thing I have to offer — my thirst. That is why the sovereign freedom and self-sufficiency of God are so precious to me: they are the foundation of my hope that God is delighted not by the resourcefulness of bucket brigades, but by the bending down of broken sinners to drink at the fountain of grace.”

The past few weeks have been crazy. I have been sick from food poisoning to a bad cough to a fever. Seriously I am constantly sick, it is not even fun anymore. Adding on to that are my assignments and group projects that are nagging at me for completion. Dear God, I need to make time for you and then God tells me to drink from His spring. Sweet. 
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