God, I say YES to you.

YES to whatever You have in stored for me
YES to wherever You want me to go.

I cannot be singing ‘Lord I give you my heart, I give You my soul I live for You alone’ but in actual fact I am not willing to go where You called. There are so many Christian songs of offering my life to God but now I feel I can’t sing them if I don’t give God full access to my heart, full access to what He wants to say to me.

It is scary and I have every right to be scared because I am human, I am not God, I don’t know what my future holds and so to say YES to God is like walking into this vast ocean. Yet my conflicting mind tells me that it’s okay, one step at a time. Even God said it is a long and narrow road but the fact that God said it comforts me.

*heart jiggles*

I fight thoughts of unworthiness almost every day. Even when someone praises me or digs in to know my past, I feel this sense of unworthiness and this ugly state that I know the devil is planting in my head. It’s like I know God shook His head, I know He was disappointed but He still wants me by His side.

So today’s devotions spoke very clearly on this area of my life :

“Our Heavenly Father didn’t assume we would know the depth of His great love either, so He tells us of its magnitude over and over and over again in His Word. Today’s key verse reinforces this simple truth that our hearts need to hear again and again: 

1 John 3:1

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!”

Once we make the exchange of our life for His, we are His children. God lavishly expends His love upon us in great amounts and without limit. The more we understand God’s great love toward us, the more we can trust Him with all things.

My love for my children is not based on how they behave or perform and the same is true for the love our perfect Heavenly Father has for us. No matter what, God’s love for us is constant. On the days we mess up completely and on the days we’re close to getting it all right, His love keeps pouring out to us. His love can then fill our hearts to overflowing so unconditional love spills over to those all around us.”

My comfort, my solace – He loves this rugged doll, He loves me for who I am and although I still fight with this thought that “my scars are beautiful to God”, I know it is very true. His love gets me going because it never fails. Men can fail but God will never fail. Men can promise you whatever that pacifies your mood that day but God’s promises last for ETERNITY. This does not mean that once I say ‘yes’ I won’t be faced with doubts or fears or negativity. It is a process, isn’t it?

With that, Father, hold my hand and walk on water with me. ❤


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